remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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