saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
