He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
