People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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