everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
