how do flat chested girls get laid?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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