I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
