i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
