I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
