Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
