I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
