I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
