would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
