I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
