im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
