you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
