i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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