the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
