Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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