just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
