I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
