were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
