his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
