I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
no you cant smoke seaweed
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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