if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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