all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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