there was a trapeze. enough said
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
