my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
