peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
