remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
