sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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