she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So here I am, sexting at work.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
