HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
