I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
