It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
