Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You ate ashes out of my bong
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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