He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
