so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Pants are for mortals
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
