Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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