Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My Sexting was not on an AP level
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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