You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
