there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize