let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
