D3 body, D1 cock
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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