I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
