dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
