oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
