Banned from zoo.
Again?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
