I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
