I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just gargled with NyQuil
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
