I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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