The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i would punch a child for taco bell
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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