weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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