Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize