Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
