I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
