So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
