He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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