best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
