You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
