we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
