I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
