I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
