you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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