Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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