): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
