I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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