just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
